bextraordinary (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bextraordinary) wrote2001-02-05 09:33 pm
bextraordinary) wrote2001-02-05 09:33 pm
(no subject)
Funny things happen when you OD on lipgloss and chocolate. For instance, you start thinking about the way the heart and mind coexist and feel compelled to write about it..
I think that when you're ready to fall in love, you do. You can't choose who, or when, or why. You just do. And you love that person just because. And it seems like everything in the world would be fixed if they would just love you back.. but how often dows this really happen? Um, never. Not in MY life.
I also LEARNED that you can't run away. Ever. You can try to avoid them.. you can ignore them. I hated him, and the whole time I wasn't talkign to him I tried to come up with excused to IM him. I couldn't help it. All the crying, the swearing, the raging against the evils of mankind.. only to be weak again.
I learned that you can't do anything about it. You just have to go with the flow and if it's a rip tide, you're fucked. Excuse my language. And you can float out to sea and drown and never be happy again, but y'know what? That's the way it works. And times trickles slowly by while you're a) trying to decide if you really DO like him or b) denying you ever thought about him in the first place.
I learned that being in love SUCKS. It's like having constant PMS. You don't know what you want, you don't know how you feel, and you can't escape. And while you love the guy, you hate him for doing this to you, because now you've lost control. You can't escape, you can't make him do anything.. you're in his hands. And if he doesn't know, he might drop you, like a glass bottle, and shards of you, or what used to be you, will fly everywhere and never be whole again.
Oh, sure.. life goes on.. but there's always something there. There's always the first love. And GOD, may he be a total LOSER, you'll still love him..
This isn't directed at ANYONE, so don't flatter yourself by thinking I'm talking about you.. it's just what I've seen, what I've understood.. it's just what I'm writing down for future reference, y'know..
Peace. Not love.. that's contradiction.
I think that when you're ready to fall in love, you do. You can't choose who, or when, or why. You just do. And you love that person just because. And it seems like everything in the world would be fixed if they would just love you back.. but how often dows this really happen? Um, never. Not in MY life.
I also LEARNED that you can't run away. Ever. You can try to avoid them.. you can ignore them. I hated him, and the whole time I wasn't talkign to him I tried to come up with excused to IM him. I couldn't help it. All the crying, the swearing, the raging against the evils of mankind.. only to be weak again.
I learned that you can't do anything about it. You just have to go with the flow and if it's a rip tide, you're fucked. Excuse my language. And you can float out to sea and drown and never be happy again, but y'know what? That's the way it works. And times trickles slowly by while you're a) trying to decide if you really DO like him or b) denying you ever thought about him in the first place.
I learned that being in love SUCKS. It's like having constant PMS. You don't know what you want, you don't know how you feel, and you can't escape. And while you love the guy, you hate him for doing this to you, because now you've lost control. You can't escape, you can't make him do anything.. you're in his hands. And if he doesn't know, he might drop you, like a glass bottle, and shards of you, or what used to be you, will fly everywhere and never be whole again.
Oh, sure.. life goes on.. but there's always something there. There's always the first love. And GOD, may he be a total LOSER, you'll still love him..
This isn't directed at ANYONE, so don't flatter yourself by thinking I'm talking about you.. it's just what I've seen, what I've understood.. it's just what I'm writing down for future reference, y'know..
Peace. Not love.. that's contradiction.